Tuesday, June 3, 2014

This Is The End

Listen up ya'll I'm about to get mushy.
I decided that a long blog post would be better than a 5 page Facebook status.
You can all thank me later.

So this is it.
The last day.
I just finished my last final exam (crushed it, hopefully) and now it's just a waiting game until I board my plane tomorrow.
I don't even know how to begin describing or explaining what I am feeling right now.
The excitement and anticipation of coming home is mixed and confused with the absolute devastation of leaving this city and the people I have fell in love with.
I don't know what to say to my friends as I am about to leave them.
It's more than I will miss them.
It's more like I will miss the part of my soul I am leaving with each of them.
They all hold a piece of me now and when we are together I feel whole.
These people have been through one of the biggest changes in my life.
I feel like I have made lifetime friends because we all share the similar passion of traveling no matter how different we may be.
I just need them to know that I love them with my whole heart and that there is always a friend in me.

Now I know some people at home may be reading this and be thinking, "Well why don't we make you feel whole?"
Trust me, you do!
It's just a different kind of wholesomeness.
When I am with the people at home I feel safe and secure in the familiarity of love and family.
Being away from everyone these past 6 months has been indescribable.
There hasn't been one day where I don't think of home and how much I miss it.
Iberia has been and always will be my home.
When I think of home my heart sings because I know that's where I truly belong.
Maybe not permanently, but my heart and soul will always be holding onto that town.
I have learned so much about myself while being here.
I know 100% without a single doubt that I am a country girl through and through.
This won't stop me from exploring other cities, but I don't see myself living in one indefinitely.
I am so thankful that I have such awesome and supporting friends, family, and community who push me to go after my goals.
I love that I know that there will always be someone I know somewhere asking me how I'm doing.
Community is something I miss the most from home.
I am beyond ecstatic to get back to the good ole USA.

Now I kind of want to warn people what to expect when I come home.
When I left I told myself that I wouldn't change that much.
Don't worry life and reality shut down that thought pretty dang quick.
I just need people at home to understand that I won't be the same person anymore.
I have different views than when I left.
I have more of a cultural look at things and I am actually very thankful of that.
If you notice that I don't always agree with an American point of view, please be patient.
It's just I have seen how others live and how other governments work.
I still love the US but I have realized that there are many many flaws in our government and society.
I have also become more open minded about things and I may get a little upset when I don't feel understood for my point of view.
I can't help the stubbornness, I tried and I lost.
Don't think that all I want to talk about is myself and my experiences.
I will be MORE THAN happy to tell you all about it because I have stories galore.
But I want to hear how all of you are and what you have been up to since I left.
Your lives are important to me as well.
Don't forget I missed out on a lot being gone and I will want to feel included in it too!
Try and remember that this was my life for 6 months.
When we talk and spend time together I will compare things to what happened here.
Don't get mad and understand that I do the same thing here with things from home.
It's our human nature to always compare and contrast things.
Oh and please don't call this a vacation.
This wasn't a vacation for me.
Sure some of my trips made looked like that but trust me I never had the vacation state of mind.
I was traveling and learning the entire time.
Not to mention I was in actual school while here.

I know this may seem excessive but this is what has been running through my mind for about the past month now.
I hope everyone can read this and understand where I am coming from and where I will be heading in the future.
Now aren't you glad I didn't make it a Facebook post? :)
Sadly there will be no until next time.
This is the end and the beginning at the same time.
Isn't it beautiful?


No comments:

Post a Comment